Trust-Based Selling: How to Win Customers and Close More Deals

Nobody really likes being “sold to.” The second you realize someone’s trying to push something on you, you can’t help but put up a defense shield. Even if the person doing the selling is your best friend, a little voice pops up in your head saying, “Are they going to hard-sell me right now?” It’s human nature. Nobody likes feeling like they’re just another cog in the sales machine.

Now imagine you’re on the other side of the fence. You’re the salesperson, and your potential client is bracing themselves for the pitch like they’re in the ring with a prizefighter. Not exactly the best environment for building a relationship, right?

But here’s where trust-based selling comes in—a solution that flips the script. 

The Oxymoron of “Trust-Based Selling” (But is it?)

“Trust-based selling” might sound like a contradiction, like jumbo shrimp or a friendly root canal. It may feel ironic, but that says a lot about the state of sales and client relationships. Here’s the deal: Trust-based selling isn’t about pushing your agenda. It’s about creating genuine, authentic relationships with the buyer at every step of the process. 

This model is centered around one goal—fulfilling the needs of the buyer, not just checking off your sales quota. It recognizes the obvious—people are more likely to work with someone they like and trust, not someone who’s barreling toward a sale like they’re trying to win gold at the Sales Olympics.

How Do You Build Trust with Customers? 

Let’s explore the basics of how you can build trust quickly and efficiently.

1. Match Pace 

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who just wouldn’t stop talking? It’s exhausting, and no one ever walked away from that saying, “Wow, they really understand me!” Or, think of the opposite, you’re naturally fast-paced but you’re talking to someone who just… won’t… get… to… the point. To build trust, match your customer’s energy and communication style. If you’re a talkative extrovert and your client is a reserved thinker, slow down. Let them lead.

Pro tip: Talking less (and listening more) in sales scenarios will make you more likable—crazy, right? No one wants to deal with a know-it-all who steamrolls the conversation. You don’t have to fake it, just tune in and adjust.

2. Ask Good Questions (No, really)

How often does your standard elevator pitch result in a quick and easy sale? Less than 50% of the time? That’s because it’s built for a specific kind of audience: people who are either just like you or already interested in your product or service. Everyone else? You’ve lost them. 

Instead of relying on a cookie-cutter script, ask questions that matter. When you ask insightful questions, you’re telling the customer, “Hey, I care about what you actually need, not just about making a sale.” It’s consultative selling at its finest, where the goal is to understand before trying to be understood.

3. Actually Listen (And Embrace the Awkward Silence)

Let’s get one thing straight: If you’re doing 80% of the talking in a sales conversation, you’re doing it wrong. Trust-based selling thrives on the 80/20 rule—let the customer do 80% of the talking. Silence may feel awkward, but it’s actually a secret weapon. My strategy? Silently count to ten before jumping back in. People will fill the silence with what’s really on their mind, and you might just get the key insight that seals the deal.

By listening more, you allow your client to express their needs, making it easier for you to pitch in a way that’s truly helpful. Whether you’re in B2B or B2C, give your client the stage, understand their pain points, and then tailor your solution accordingly. This is how you become customer-centric.

The Nightmare Scenario: A Salesperson from a Sitcom

Let’s paint a picture you’ve probably experienced: You walk into a car dealership (yep, we’re going there), and the salesperson greets you with a rehearsed pitch that makes you want to run for the exit. They ask you maybe two surface-level questions like, “What’s your budget?” and “Are you looking for something new?” Then, without skipping a beat, they launch into a monologue about features you don’t care about. They talk, and talk, and…talk. Meanwhile, you’re sitting there thinking, “Do they even know what I’m here for?”

That’s what happens when you don’t use trust-based selling—absolute failure. It’s like going on a date where your date spends the whole night talking about themselves. Fun, right?

Getting it right: When Trust-Based Selling Wins the Day

Now, flip the script. I was once working with a client, asking questions and actively listening, when they paused, leaned in and said, “You know, I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but we’re about to get acquired. So, this whole contract thing—we might need to update it.” Jackpot. Because I’d built trust and acted like a partner rather than a salesperson, my customer felt comfortable sharing sensitive information.

With the new intel, I was able to pivot my presentation and offer solutions that would support the client during the acquisition–and, ultimately, expand our business relationship. That’s how you go from being a salesperson to being a trusted advisor. When the relationship reaches the level where clients will reach out to you for advice, and you’ve officially broken down that defense wall.

Is It Too Late? Fixing Sales Habits and Building Trust from Scratch

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Uh-oh, I’ve been doing it all wrong,” don’t worry—there’s hope. First, start by building a solid list of questions you can ask your clients to get to the heart of their needs. These need to be open, investigative, broad questions that will get to the root of your customer’s needs, goals, or desires. Then, practice listening. Really listening. You know that awkward silence I mentioned? Embrace it.

If you catch yourself mid-sales pitch running over your client’s thoughts, hit pause and reset. I’ve even said things like, “I’m sorry, I was so excited to dive in that I forgot to properly introduce myself. Let’s back up and do some introductions.” Trust me, a little self-deprecating humor goes a long way in salvaging a relationship (just don’t overdo it).

Also, as a fun experiment, try talking over your clients during the entire meeting. See how that goes. Spoiler alert: They won’t be saying, “Wow, that was so insightful!” More like, “Well, that rep was an idiot.”

Remember, sales is a lot like dating. You don’t propose marriage on the first date, right? (If you do, you might want to see someone about that). Instead, you take time to get to know the person, understand their likes and dislikes, and, most importantly, listen to them. In sales, rushing to close the deal is the equivalent of asking someone to move in after one dinner. Not only is it awkward, but it’s also a terrible strategy.

Break the Cycle, Build the Trust

Most salespeople are stuck in the “this is how I’ve always done it” cycle. They’re comfortable with their pitch, their style, and their script. But real sales success comes from stepping outside of that comfort zone and putting the relationship first. 

If you’re in B2B sales, take your client out to lunch—no sales pitch allowed. Show them you’re a normal person they can trust. In B2C, use those carefully crafted questions to ensure you’re meeting your customer’s needs, not just pushing your priciest product. Trust me, that’s how you build customer loyalty.

Ready to step up your sales game? Explore MindWire’s workshops on Customer-Focused Selling and Influencing for Results, and watch your relationships—and your revenue—accelerate.