How to Help Someone Gracefully Exit Their Role

A Compassionate Leader’s Guide

Let’s be honest: helping someone exit their role is uncomfortable. It doesn’t matter if they’re quitting or you’re firing them—these transitions are often emotionally charged, awkward, and can be downright painful. There’s potential embarrassment, conflict, and hurt feelings for both parties. But here’s the reality: how you handle this as a leader will shape not only their exit but your own reputation as a compassionate leader.

So, proceed with caution and a plan. By strategically approaching the process, you can support your employee through this transition while maintaining your leadership integrity. 

Step 1: Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Before you do anything, check your mindset. A compassionate leader not only supports an employee through challenges, but also adapts to the communication needs and style of their employee. It’s about ensuring that even when it’s not working out, your direct report feels valued and respected. How? First, increase your own self-awareness by understanding your natural leadership style and communication habits. Then, understand your employee’s behavioral preferences so that you can pivot and flex to meet their needs. In practical terms, compassionate leadership looks like adaptation, open communication, transparency, and empathy.

Data backs this up too—according to studies by Harvard Business Review, compassionate leadership boosts trust and long-term performance. When employees feel trusted and respected, even during challenging moments like exiting a company, they’re more likely to leave on good terms. This reduces negative blowback and maintains morale for the rest of the team. Remember, as a leader, your team members are always watching how you conduct yourself–so be sure to set a good example of trust and ownership.

Step 2: Conduct a Thoughtful Exit Interview

Exit interviews are your opportunity to gather insights, offer support, and close the chapter on a positive note. Again, consider your employee’s behavioral style when approaching the exit interview–are they extraverted or not? Would they feel more comfortable in a conversation or writing their answers? This is another area you can adapt to their needs to make the employee most comfortable.

Be sure to include questions like, “What could we have done to support you better?” and “How can we make this transition smoother for you?” This isn’t about prying, but about giving them space to express any unresolved concerns while allowing you to learn from the situation. During this time, make it clear that their contributions mattered and that you’re here to help facilitate a smooth exit, avoiding bad blood or awkward silences down the line.

Step 3: Review the Why

Sometimes, the reason an employee is leaving is in your control, and sometimes it’s not. Whether it’s because they’ve found another opportunity or because performance has dwindled, take time to reflect on this moment. What can you learn from it? Can this insight help you retain talent in the future?

If the employee is not comfortable sharing their reasons with you, consider exploring the top three reasons people leave jobs: 

1. Toxic Company Culture. How are you, as a leader, living your organization’s values? What have you done to show recognition and build team camaraderie? 
2. Lack of Development. Do you have a development plan for each of your employees? Have you explored additional, low cost development opportunities that fit your employees goals?
3. Poor Management. Did you do everything you could to coach, give feedback, listen to, and support the employee during their tenure with you? Are you conducting consistent 1-on-1’s?

Lastly, if the reason lies in performance, use an objective framework to review if there was a behavioral mismatch that led to low performance. Was the role requiring fast-paced action filled with quick decision-making, but the employee’s natural strengths were in their consistent pacing and thoughtful processes? When speaking to your employee, be honest, but kind. Frame the conversation in terms of growth and potential future success, rather than focusing on past failures.

Step 4: Exit with a Predictive Index Readback

Even if it hasn’t worked out, this person has strengths. The Predictive Index Behavioral Assessment can help you recognize those strengths and communicate them effectively. If the employee is open to it, gift them a “readback”, or an analysis of their PI report. Encourage them to apply for roles that support their strengths or to use their PI report in their next interview/with their next employer. If they’re not open to discussing their next steps with you, just send them their Predictive Index report as a reminder of their unique strengths, to help them better navigate their career move. 

Example: I once had an employee in healthcare who was burned out and underperforming. They’d been in the role for over three years and were dissatisfied, disengaged, and disheartened. They knew they needed to find something else. Since our relationship was still amicable, I sat down with the employee and we reviewed their strengths and discussed their interests and goals. After discussing their passion for sports, I suggested they explore a completely unrelated career path: becoming a referee. It was a leap from healthcare, but it reignited their energy. A few weeks later, they came back to me and said, “I’m actually happy again.”

Step 5: Be Available After The Exit

Be available–both to support your team during this transition, and for the employee who has exited. When it’s time to share with the team about the exit, consider the different needs of your team to help them adjust to change. This type of announcement is best in-person, rather than via email (or, worse, Slack). Be sure to discuss the impact of the decision, including who is taking over responsibility, who to go to for resources, how and how this change impacts the other roles on the team. Continue to uphold values and make yourself available to the team if they desire further communication or support.

As for the departing employee, just because they’ve left the company doesn’t mean you have to sever ties completely. Connect on LinkedIn, offer a recommendation, and check in from time to time. These small gestures can go a long way in maintaining a positive relationship.

Finding a Humanistic Approach

As a leader, helping someone exit their role is tough. You might feel a sense of personal loss, lack of control, fear of change, or even relief, depending on the situation. Do the introspective work to understand your own feelings and reactions before you follow these steps. Be honest with yourself—sometimes it’s hard not to take it personally, especially if they were a high performer. For underperformers, you might feel a weight lifted, knowing you no longer have to manage the situation–that’s valid, too.

But above all, remember that every employee deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, no matter the circumstances. Supporting them through this transition means showing them that they’re more than just a number. They’re a person, with real strengths and real potential for future success.

By following this compassionate and strategic process, you’re not only helping them move on but also strengthening your own team and leadership for the future.

Here to help

If you’re navigating a tough employee transition or want to enhance your leadership approach, you don’t have to do it alone. At MindWire, our expert team is here to provide personalized, 1-1 support to help you lead with compassion and confidence. Whether you’re letting someone go or helping them take their next career step, we’ll guide you through the process with proven tools like the Predictive Index and tailored coaching strategies. Ready to take the next step in becoming a more empathetic and effective leader?