How to Give Feedback to an Underperformer

Let’s be real—giving feedback is tough. No one looks forward to that uncomfortable conversation where you have to tell an employee they’re not hitting the mark. It’s one of those tasks that keeps managers up at night, rehearsing what to say and how to say it. We’ve been there, dreading the moment, overthinking every word, and questioning if it’s worth it. Spoiler alert: it is.

The truth is, most of us would rather avoid conflict altogether. It’s only natural. We don’t want to hurt feelings, stir the pot, or risk being the “bad guy.” Especially if you have to work with the person every day. But here’s the kicker—avoiding that tough conversation can lead to even bigger problems down the line. It’s time to flip the script. Imagine what could happen if we leaned into critical conversations instead of running away from them. Picture the outcome if you addressed performance issues head-on: a more engaged employee, a stronger team, and a healthier work environment.

Let’s explore how to give feedback in a way that’s constructive, compassionate, and effective. Because, it’s not just about getting through the conversation—it’s about getting the result you need for your team and your business.

Reframing Feedback: From Conflict to Connection

First things first, let’s challenge the way you think about feedback. Instead of viewing it as a necessary evil, what if you saw it as an opportunity to make a real difference in someone’s career? Feedback, even when it’s negative, isn’t just about correcting mistakes—it’s about guiding your employees toward success. By avoiding these conversations, you’re not doing anyone any favors. You’re just delaying the inevitable and potentially missing out on a chance to turn things around.

Here’s a perspective shift: What if giving that feedback could save an employee who’s circling the drain? What if, by being open and honest, you could actually help them turn things around? Engaging in tough conversations is part of your responsibility as a leader. It’s how you show that you care about your employee’s growth and their place within the team.

Starting the Conversation: Highlight Their Potential

When it’s time to have that conversation, start on a positive note. Focus on what you believe the underperformer is capable of. “I know you can do this because I’ve seen it before. What do YOU believe you’re capable of?” This approach plants a seed of positivity and opens the door for the employee to reflect on their own strengths. The first goal is finding common ground and then working together to bridge the gap between where they are and where they could be.

Identify the employee’s strengths from their perspective and meet them halfway. Cheerlead their abilities and then gently introduce the specific areas that need improvement. By doing this, you’re offering a path forward that feels collaborative, rather than combative.

Tone and Intention: Be Real and Transparent

The way you deliver feedback matters just as much as the content itself. Be real, be transparent, and don’t beat around the bush. Clearly outline where the employee is now, where they’re heading if things don’t change, and where they could be if they make some adjustments. Paint a realistic picture of success and failure. There’s no benefit to sugarcoating the conversation, especially when the employee’s future at your organization is on the line. Be upfront and honest, while still showing that you believe in their potential.

Start the conversation by recognizing their value and contributions to the team. Acknowledge what makes them unique and why you want them to succeed. Build up the person first before addressing the performance issue. Remember, it’s about correcting the behavior, not criticizing the individual. By validating their place in the team, you encourage openness and honesty. This also sets the stage for them to commit to the process of improvement.

Digging Deeper: Understanding the Root Cause

Sometimes, underperformance is a symptom of a deeper issue. It’s your job as a manager to investigate and understand what might be causing the dip in performance. Is it a personal issue? A lack of clarity? Low motivation? Or perhaps they’re not equipped with the right tools or resources to succeed. Here are some questions you can ask to get to the heart of the matter:

• Is everything okay at home? How are you feeling? Describe how you feel about your work right now.
• Do you feel you have clarity about what’s expected of you? Can you describe what’s expected, from your perspective?
• What excites you about your job or working on this team? What would motivate you to work harder or put in more effort?
• Do you feel you have the right tools and resources to be successful in your role?
• How do you feel about being part of this team? Do you connect with this culture?

By asking these questions, you can get closer to diagnosing the issue and show that you care about them as a person, not just as an employee. This personal connection can make all the difference in how they receive your feedback.

Making an Action Plan: Small Steps for Big Change

Once you’ve identified the root cause, and shared the performance expectation, it’s time to make a plan. Start small. Pick one critical area where they can take a tangible step forward. This shouldn’t be a giant leap, but a digestible action that allows them to see progress. The goal is to build momentum and confidence, so they feel more comfortable and capable in their role.

Work together to outline what they’re willing to commit to and what you, as their manager, can do to support them. This isn’t about micromanaging; it’s about partnership and accountability. Make it clear that you’re in this together and that you’re committed to helping them succeed—as long as they are, too.

When It’s Not Working Out: Planning for a Graceful Exit

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, things just don’t work out. Maybe the employee is burnt out, or perhaps they don’t believe they can do more. This is where you need to have an honest conversation about their future with the organization.

Ask them directly: Do you want to be here? Are you willing to put in the effort? Can we work together on this? If the answer is no, it’s time to start planning for a graceful exit. Explore how you can help them transition out of the organization in a way that allows them to leave with their head held high. This isn’t about forcing them out—it’s about preparing them for what’s next and ensuring that they contribute positively while they’re still here.

The Art of Tough Conversations

Giving feedback to underperformers isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most important aspects of leadership. By approaching these conversations with empathy, transparency, and a focus on growth, you can turn a potentially negative experience into a positive one—for both you and your employee. Remember, you’re not just correcting mistakes; you’re guiding someone toward their full potential.

Take a page from Marshall Rosenberg, who developed an approach called Nonviolent Communication. This conversation path emphasizes empathy and compassion–critical for tough conversations:

1. Observations: Focus on concrete actions or events objectively (without judgment).
2. Feelings: Identify and express emotions related to the observations.
3. Needs: Recognize the underlying needs or values that give rise to feelings.
4. Requests: Make clear, specific requests for actions that could meet those needs.

MindWire is here to support you through these challenges. Our tools, like the Predictive Index relationship reports, can provide expert insights on framing conversations in a way that’s heard and received well. Remember, you’re not alone in this—reach out, take the first step toward change, and know that the positive impact of these conversations can be transformative for your team and your organization.

Final Thought: Being a manager is hard work, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. You have the power to make a difference, not just in your business, but in the lives of the people who work for you. So go out there, have those tough conversations, and know that you’re doing the right thing—both for your employees and for your organization.