5 Ways to Manage Control Freaks

How to Manage When Everyone’s in Charge

The Challenge of When Everyone on Your Team Wants the Last Word

If your team’s vibe could be summed up as “my way or the highway,” welcome to the world of high-dominance leaders. These assertive, opinion-slinging, quick-to-decide types need to lead the charge—individually and all at once. They’re impatient with small talk, allergic to ambiguous feedback, and want answers yesterday. For high-dominance leaders, indirect communication is just noise.

Here’s the challenge: how do you keep all these powerful voices productive and united without being dragged into a power struggle every other meeting? Here are five techniques to guide high-dominance leaders while still keeping the peace.

1. Embrace their ideas, but direct the action
2. Keep it moving (without losing your own sanity)
3. Match their energy, but keep the upper hand
4. Lead with options, but guide the choice
5. Bring on the competition 

1. Embrace Their Ideas but Direct the Action

Ignoring the “control freak” instincts in high-dominance leaders is a sure way to put everyone on edge. But by giving a respectful nod to their ideas before guiding the conversation, you can channel their energy more constructively.

Curiosity vs. Conflict: High-dominance leaders hate being told they’re wrong. So instead of sparking a tug-of-war, turn your response into a question. Get curious. When someone proposes a questionable idea, instead of shooting it down, try, “Interesting—how would you roll that out?” This shows respect for their thinking without a direct challenge.

Make Your Pitch the Add-On, Not the Objection: High-dominance leaders hear “Your idea doesn’t work because…” as a challenge. Instead, try something like, “What if we added…?” It feels collaborative, evolves their idea, and keeps them engaged without making them defensive.

2. Keep It Moving (Without Losing Your Own Sanity)

When the room is filled with high-dominance leaders, small talk and fluff are dead weight. Here’s how to keep things moving without losing control.

No Small Talk, Just Facts: High-dominance leaders aren’t here for chitchat—they’re here to get things done. Skip the pleasantries and focus on what directly impacts objectives. No extra seasoning needed.

Speak Their Language: Objectives, Efficiency, and Results: High-dominance leaders live and breathe outcomes. Frame everything around efficiency, results, and ROI. Instead of a lengthy explanation, go for something like, “This approach will increase output by 20% and cut costs.” Straight to the point, just the way they like it.

Quick Decision Cycles: High-dominance leaders want quick answers. Don’t drag out decision-making—keep the agenda tight, skip the unnecessary, and move swiftly from one decision to the next.

3. Match Their Energy, but Keep the Upper Hand

To earn respect from high-dominance leaders, show some backbone. They respond best to strength and confidence.

Don’t Be Soft, Be Direct: High-dominance leaders don’t have patience for subtlety. If you want respect, don’t hold back. Match their energy, assert your opinion confidently, and don’t flinch when the conversation heats up.

Communicate with Confidence and Clarity: High-dominance leaders value clear, direct communication. They aren’t interested in fluff, so get straight to the point, especially in high-stakes discussions. Directness is what they respect, and it’s how you’ll be heard.

Throw Your Title Around (Strategically): When necessary, remind high-dominance leaders who’s ultimately accountable. High-dominance types yield to authority, if they respect it. Use phrases like, “Yes, and my @$$ is on the line if this doesn’t work,” or “Not on my watch.” Let them know you’re here to lead, and they’ll have to follow.

4. Lead with Options, But Guide the Choice

One trick to manage high-dominance leaders: make them feel like they’re choosing, while you’re the one actually directing the options.

Create “Controlled Choice” Scenarios: Offer them options that subtly favor your preferred outcome. For example, “We have A, B, and C, but here’s why A might be our best bet.” This keeps them feeling in control while you hold the reins.

Steer the Room with Solution-Based Questions: Keep discussions on track by using solution-based questions, like, “How would this align with our goal to…?” If someone starts rambling, redirect them with targeted questions that keep the focus on objectives—internally, we call this “popcorn-ing,” as in popping the idea back to them to keep them focused.

Clarify Decisions on Performance Outcomes: High-dominance leaders don’t just want input; they need to see the outcomes. Try phrasing questions around results, such as, “Will this approach help us achieve our goal faster or with fewer resources?” This keeps them focused on what matters most.

5. High-Dominance Leaders Need Competition—Bring It

High-dominance leaders thrive on competition. To keep them engaged, introduce a bit of friendly rivalry.

Create Friendly Competition with Benchmarks: Want to get their attention? Casually mention that another team is outpacing them. Watch as they become laser-focused on outperforming.

Frame Progress as a Game: Break down big projects into “levels” or small benchmarks. This competitive nudge motivates high-dominance leaders and keeps them moving toward the end goal. A little gamification will create accelerated performance.

Strategic Success Metrics: Metrics are your secret weapon. When high-dominance leaders compete, it’s not just about who speaks the loudest; it’s about results. Provide specific, measurable outcomes to keep them focused on achieving, rather than just out-speaking, one another.

Final Takeaway: Fast-Paced and Forward-Driven

Managing a team of high-dominance leaders isn’t for the faint of heart, but it’s like riding a roller coaster with guardrails—high energy, fast-paced, but with you securely at the helm. Move quickly, use control strategically, and keep everything tied to results.

Ready to give it a go? The data says it’s going to work. Try a few of these data-driven leadership strategies in your next meeting with high-dominance leaders and watch as you master the art of leading the leaders. Not only will you keep the peace, but you’ll turn that high-energy dominance into productivity that actually delivers.